


cowboy love

by ThePopcornBucket



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: AgainPleaseDontTakeThisSeriouslyLol, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Dimension Travel, F/M, Humor, In Costume, Inappropriate Humor, Jealousy, Western, Wild West, sexy!Galadriel, sexy!Gandalf, sexy!ManhamStranger, western clothes, young!Galadriel, young!Gandalf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:02:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26063920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePopcornBucket/pseuds/ThePopcornBucket
Summary: Gandalf follows Galadriel through her holiday portal to the Wild West and tries to chat her up at the local saloon...
Relationships: Galadriel | Artanis/Gandalf | Mithrandir
Kudos: 3





	cowboy love

**Author's Note:**

> Still unbeta'd so please be kind uwu <3

“Mithrandir, what brings you hence?” Galadriel breathed, as her bosom heaved back and forth in her white sheer dress.

“ _Hwell_ ”, Gandalf breathed back, “in case you haven’t heard, I’m a real— _myth ‘round ‘ere_.” He wiggled his shaggy overgrown eyebrows teasingly.

Galadriel rolled her turquoise orbs in exasperation. “Keep tellin’ yourself that, cowboaah. But we know who’s the real gunslinger in this town, and he’s a true man-ham.” Galadriel flicked a heated gaze behind Gandalf towards a dark and mysterious silhouetto of a man leaning against the corner of the bar. She stood up and sashayed her enticing hips—that did not escape Gandalf’s notice—towards the direction of the stranger in question. When she finally reached the muscular shadow, she casted a final alluring glance back at Gandalf as she caressed his engorged bulging shoulder, before floating ethereally out of the decrepit saloon.

The pure jealousy that shot through Gandalf’s heart was akin to the fires of Mount Doom. He could not possibly be bested by a mere cowboy in this mortal dimension. He huffed and puffed towards the man, with unblemished knuckles clenching around his greased gun, the claps of his leather-clad ass cheeks signaling his arrival.

“You there!” Gandalf ejaculated.

The man looked up, cocking his left eyebrow.

“You and me. Outside. Right now.”

The man let out a deep rumbling chuckle. “Don’t kid yourself, kid. You ain’t got what it takes.” He snorted and took a sip of his whiskey.

“Scared?”

“You wish.”

“Prove it.”

“Shall we?”

The man stood up and sauntered out of the saloon, his heavy working-man boots clicking and clacking on the aged wooden floorboards.

Gandalf thought to himself, “Heck yes! This is my moment!” He caught a glimpse of Galadriel’s luscious, golden locks amidst the gathering crowd, thirsty for action and blood, and it was Gandalf’s time to shine.

All of a sudden, a band of bandits bounded into the scene, and just like that, gunshots broke out. Gandalf fired two warning shots into the sky and they exploded like fireworks, just like how his brains exploded when he looked at Galadriel, the love of his life. Oh, how he simped for her. Hard.

It was pure animal magnetism that he moved towards his golden ray of light, sweeping her off her feet into his immortal arms. He fled the scene as swiftly as Shadowfax swifted,

He ran, not hearing the hysterical screams of his lovely burden. When he could no longer feel the chaotic energy of the violence, his knees buckled onto the sandy dust and his precious collapsed on top of him.

“Oh! You saved me, you savage beast!” she simpered, her body vibrating in excitement from the adrenaline.

Gandalf froze.

That was not Galadriel’s voice. Nor were those Galadriel’s hips.

“Mithrandir!” he heard a roar from a distance. He looked up to see Galadriel suspended in green shadowy flames, majestic like the majestic Balrog unveiled from the depths of the majestic Mines of Moria.

“Oh cursed balls of Sauron”, Gandalf sighed.

The end.


End file.
